Yes, I'm new... to all of you. But I've lurked the D/d and D/s world for years; mainly the forums. And that's where I met the persona I knew as Patty. Since I was just a lurker, I didn't have much personal contact with anyone. I just read my heart out. The reason this whole ordeal with Patty upset me is because I believed it all... I definitely don't claim to have "known" something was "off" the whole time. The very closest I ever came to any kind of doubt was thinking to myself how incredible a marriage she had, and how insecure she could be at times (but I'd remind myself that I've been in the depths of insecurity so many times myself).
I've noticed that on a lot of blogs where people are talking about this, they only know what they have read on Patty's blog. Well, I'll go ahead and explain that although a lot of people are feeling hurt from that site alone, there's a lot of history elsewhere that pertains to the hurt others are feeling.
Over time, she racked up quite a lot of bouts with people in which she would take extreme offense and lash out in various different ways. Yet her insights to this kink, and other things, were very informative and inspirational; keeping her "reality" safe from critical inspection. I watched good, well-meaning people, become ostracized time and again due to slight remarks that Patty twisted around to mean ill will, rudeness, etc. Maybe I feel guilty for standing by? Believing the lies? Continuing to feel for her - even now?
I don't hate her, and I'm not bitter. It upset me for a while, but excepting some inklings of guilt, I'm over that as well. However, I can't sympathize. I'm not a genius, and don't claim any knowledge of psychology, but I believe that her problems are fed by attention. One thing I do know is that people sometimes have to reach rock bottom before they can truly begin to change. Though I won't sympathize with her, I have compassion for her. Does that make sense to you? I will pray for her and hope that her life becomes a normal one, but I can't encourage self-pity. *blinks* Hope nobody gets pissed at me for that; just trying to word what I actually feel.
She's removed from my list of blogs I like to read for now... despite the fact that I will probably keep reading from time to time out of a strange fascination with where things are going there.
These two posts: Okay, I've had it!, and On trust, vulnerability and ethics by Bliatz (who I've added to my blog list) are very good.
~~~
It takes good memory to keep up a lie.
Pierre Corneille (1606–1684)I am a villain. Yet I lie, I am not.
Fool, of thyself speak well. Fool, do not flatter.
My conscience hath a thousand several tongues,
And every tongue brings in a several tale,
And every tale condemns me for a villain.
Perjury, perjury, in the highest degree,
Murder, stern murder, in the direst degree,
All several sins, all used in each degree,
Throng to the bar, crying all, “Guilty! Guilty!”
I shall despair. There is no creature loves me,
And if I die no soul will pity me.
And wherefore should they, since that I myself
Find in myself no pity to myself?
William Shakespeare (1564–1616)Like one
Who having into truth, by telling of it,
Made such a sinner of his memory,
To credit his own lie.
William Shakespeare (1564–1616)
About me
- rivka
- The South, United States
- My profile
In Dreams
"And in dreams I am free
falling into what is not;
what will be what is.
It's this intense hatred
for reality twisted
in an obsession of hope
Defy the stagnant
life that speaks only
what can be but wills not.
God's grace,
not my self fear
of what I think
I cannot be."
-rivka
Blogs I Like
- Loving DD
- Spanking Bethie
- Wheelsucker (Jo's Blog)
- Joannie Writes
- Sue's Place
- Bottom Smarts (Bonnie's Blog)
- Life In Motion
- Chris's Blog (Sparkle's husband)
- Caia's Journey
- RandC Personal Correction
- My Spanko Diary
- Pieces (SarAdora's Blog)
- Susie A's Journal
- Whisperings Of My Soul
- Leah's Blog
- Christian Domestic Discipline
- The Spanked Wife
- Head of House
- Spanking Good Time (Tiggr)
- Bliatz
- Dave and Am
- Domestic Discipline Diary
- Cease Resistance:Spanking Ree Again
- The Enchanted Palms Blog (Lenora's Blog)
- SarAdora's Spanking Erotica
- Fiction In Motion
D/d & Spanking
D/s - Submission
Other Stuff
Previous posts
Archives
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
ATOM 0.3
    |
 |
    |
| This RingSurf Spanking Net Ring owned by My Beautiful Submission. | ||