The side of my life that grows and changes with my interests and discoveries pertaining to the D/d and D/s world, with respect to my spiritual convictions/sensibilites. (This page is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox)
Rico and I both love wolves, and would love to have a hybrid one day, but anyway... I googled active submission and this picture just caught my eye.Recently, I received an email from one of my readers (who wishes to remain anonymous) on the subject of "self-submission." Or, "active" submission. Here is the excerpt (it is from the M/f point of view):
~~~
"...The submissive should be actively responsible for certain aspects of her own submission, including active "punishment" for their own transgressions whether they are internally emotional or externally overt. The best reason for this is, if for no other, is that this would help keep the women herself focused on her responsibility for, and acceptance of, her own submission. Her internal "governor" knows the "training" she needs more than anyone else.
For instance, and not to put too sharp of a point on it, if it is a subs' intent to please, (and even if the Dom is already pleased with the subs' physical appearance) then shouldn't it be the submissive's' basic responsibility to eat and exercise is such a way so as to sustain the physical condition, flexibility, and endurance the Dom finds appealing[?] Yes, he can punish her for any dissatisfaction he may feel or for any disobedience or defiance he may detect, but self discipline and self control seems a far better demonstration of willing submissiveness.
There are behaviors which can be added to the sub's training menu of "self control and self discipline" such as private self-bondage (blindfolds, hoods, clips, pegs, gags, and the like), privately sustaining a single submissive position for a period of time, privately moving rapidly from one submissive position to another, developing a repository of useful books and materials, taking a cold shower, wearing a concealed chastity belt, etc.. With any of these activities the general intent is to remove from the Dom the entire [having to bear the whole of the] responsibility for monitoring the subs' adherence to the rules, to punish any infractions, and to remove the reason for potential complaint when the sub is having a "pity party" because the Dom isn't giving her what she thinks she "needs.""
~~~
~~~
Far too often I read about "submissives" who actually submit only on the surface. They don't actually yearn to submit as much as they want to be dominated. The typical fantasy, I believe, is for the man to dominate, control, and forcefully "take his woman in hand." But, actual submission is willfully placing yourself under the authority of the Dominant. Desiring boundaries, limits, and someone who will enforce them, is one thing. But, wanting those things without any self-contribution is entirely different.
Which brings me to the point - there are two types of submission: passive, and active.
The passive submissive can be the sub who likes the "idea" [of submission] for short periods of time, and acts only when she's feeling submissive. However, a 24/7 D/s relationship is out of the question for her. If such a submissive does claim to practice 24/7, there will still be a consistent wave of "self" flowing from her words and actions. The easiest way to tell a passive submissive is to watch for the "I need" when it's obviously an "I want."
And then there is the active submissive; who truly yearns to submit her entirety to her Dom [and what pleases Him] and, at least, strives to take the focus completely off of herself. A 24/7 D/s relationship is usually something this type of sub desires. With this sub, actually submitting is what brings her the most gratification; whereas the passive sub gets the most of her fulfillment out of being dominated. You can tell an active submissive by where her happiness lies: is it in pleasing her Dom? Or is it in pleasing herself?
On top of that, even the active submissive [in heart] can become passive in her actions. And that's where the above email comes in - how to stay, and/or become more active in submission. It quite intrigued me since I really do want to actively submit to Rico, but that's sometimes a hard thing to do since he isn't really here. I'm always looking for new ideas on serving, constant ways to keep the submissive mindset, etc.
So, what are your thoughts?
About me
- rivka
- The South, United States
- My profile
In Dreams
"And in dreams I am free
falling into what is not;
what will be what is.
It's this intense hatred
for reality twisted
in an obsession of hope
Defy the stagnant
life that speaks only
what can be but wills not.
God's grace,
not my self fear
of what I think
I cannot be."
-rivka
Blogs I Like
- Loving DD
- Spanking Bethie
- Wheelsucker (Jo's Blog)
- Joannie Writes
- Sue's Place
- Bottom Smarts (Bonnie's Blog)
- Life In Motion
- Chris's Blog (Sparkle's husband)
- Caia's Journey
- RandC Personal Correction
- My Spanko Diary
- Pieces (SarAdora's Blog)
- Susie A's Journal
- Whisperings Of My Soul
- Leah's Blog
- Christian Domestic Discipline
- The Spanked Wife
- Head of House
- Spanking Good Time (Tiggr)
- Bliatz
- Dave and Am
- Domestic Discipline Diary
- Cease Resistance:Spanking Ree Again
- The Enchanted Palms Blog (Lenora's Blog)
- SarAdora's Spanking Erotica
- Fiction In Motion
D/d & Spanking
D/s - Submission
Other Stuff
Previous posts
Archives
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
ATOM 0.3
    |
 |
    |
| This RingSurf Spanking Net Ring owned by My Beautiful Submission. | ||