The side of my life that grows and changes with my interests and discoveries pertaining to the D/d and D/s world, with respect to my spiritual convictions/sensibilites. (This page is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox)
I'm not the kind of person who cries for very many reasons. More the past year than ever before, but still not very much. When I do cry, it is a big release for me because I have such a bad problem with keeping things pent up. And once it starts, it's hard to stop it. I believe that my being able to cry more this year has a whole lot to do with having D/d and D/s implemented in my life. Walls have had to come down from around my heart, and I've had to become a lot more open. Some of it was forced, some of it voluntary, but all of it has been for the better.
Yet, I haven't cried from a spanking or a punishment. Not that I've had that much experience in the spanking department.., but still. I'd like to. It seems like as the days go by I crave more and more that scenario. Being spanked to tears, being scolded to tears.., etc. Sure, it's a common fantasy, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't wait to fulfill it. When I'm feeling guilty is when it's the worst.
Tonight I really wanted to cry.., err... be made to cry. My butt is pretty sore still from the self-spanking, but Rico decided I needed more because, yet again, I forgot a rule today. I was pretty upset at myself for that, so I willingly accepted his judgement. While he was able to be here, he used a sturdy, plastic ruler, aimed right at my sit-spots where the most damage was done during my self-spanking. It really stung the heck out of me, but I stayed very still and let him do what he had to with the time we had. Even though I was standing still on my own, eventually he told me not to move at all, and that was harder than I thought it would be. Somehow, though, I grit my teeth and it happened. He was going to try using his belt, but didn't really have time so was only able to get a couple good strokes in. Once he was home, he called and had me put clips on my nipples (remember..: heavy-duty clothes pins) for twenty minutes. Ow. And even after all that, I still wished that he could have been there to spank me until I cried. The guilt was still there. Besides time and tears, I can't think of another way to get rid of it.
~~~
I try to categorize my misdeeds and the problems I'm working on into three things (that I'm sure nearly all of you have heard of): Disobedience, Dishonesty, or Disrespect. Which one does memory go into? Either disobedience or disrespect I suppose... Since Rico has asked me to do the things I forget, it's disobedience when I fail. However, by not prioritizing his will above other things, it's also a form of disrespect. Lol, it's a good thing all that doesn't really matter, huh? Too many people get caught up in words, I believe, and it bogs things down to chaos. Susie A wrote a good post on just that: The "Contract" and Other Thoughts.
Yet, I haven't cried from a spanking or a punishment. Not that I've had that much experience in the spanking department.., but still. I'd like to. It seems like as the days go by I crave more and more that scenario. Being spanked to tears, being scolded to tears.., etc. Sure, it's a common fantasy, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't wait to fulfill it. When I'm feeling guilty is when it's the worst.
Tonight I really wanted to cry.., err... be made to cry. My butt is pretty sore still from the self-spanking, but Rico decided I needed more because, yet again, I forgot a rule today. I was pretty upset at myself for that, so I willingly accepted his judgement. While he was able to be here, he used a sturdy, plastic ruler, aimed right at my sit-spots where the most damage was done during my self-spanking. It really stung the heck out of me, but I stayed very still and let him do what he had to with the time we had. Even though I was standing still on my own, eventually he told me not to move at all, and that was harder than I thought it would be. Somehow, though, I grit my teeth and it happened. He was going to try using his belt, but didn't really have time so was only able to get a couple good strokes in. Once he was home, he called and had me put clips on my nipples (remember..: heavy-duty clothes pins) for twenty minutes. Ow. And even after all that, I still wished that he could have been there to spank me until I cried. The guilt was still there. Besides time and tears, I can't think of another way to get rid of it.
~~~
I try to categorize my misdeeds and the problems I'm working on into three things (that I'm sure nearly all of you have heard of): Disobedience, Dishonesty, or Disrespect. Which one does memory go into? Either disobedience or disrespect I suppose... Since Rico has asked me to do the things I forget, it's disobedience when I fail. However, by not prioritizing his will above other things, it's also a form of disrespect. Lol, it's a good thing all that doesn't really matter, huh? Too many people get caught up in words, I believe, and it bogs things down to chaos. Susie A wrote a good post on just that: The "Contract" and Other Thoughts.
About me
- rivka
- The South, United States
- My profile
In Dreams
"And in dreams I am free
falling into what is not;
what will be what is.
It's this intense hatred
for reality twisted
in an obsession of hope
Defy the stagnant
life that speaks only
what can be but wills not.
God's grace,
not my self fear
of what I think
I cannot be."
-rivka
Blogs I Like
- Loving DD
- Spanking Bethie
- Wheelsucker (Jo's Blog)
- Joannie Writes
- Sue's Place
- Bottom Smarts (Bonnie's Blog)
- Life In Motion
- Chris's Blog (Sparkle's husband)
- Caia's Journey
- RandC Personal Correction
- My Spanko Diary
- Pieces (SarAdora's Blog)
- Susie A's Journal
- Whisperings Of My Soul
- Leah's Blog
- Christian Domestic Discipline
- The Spanked Wife
- Head of House
- Spanking Good Time (Tiggr)
- Bliatz
- Dave and Am
- Domestic Discipline Diary
- Cease Resistance:Spanking Ree Again
- The Enchanted Palms Blog (Lenora's Blog)
- SarAdora's Spanking Erotica
- Fiction In Motion
D/d & Spanking
D/s - Submission
Other Stuff
Previous posts
Archives
- October 2005
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- September 2006
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- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
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