The side of my life that grows and changes with my interests and discoveries pertaining to the D/d and D/s world, with respect to my spiritual convictions/sensibilites. (This page is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox)

He proposed on Christmas Eve... and it was absolutely perfect. I'm so excited!!

Every year my family does a big bonfire next to the river for Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. It's always a lot of fun, always at night, and Rico and I love it. Well, about two years ago at a Christmas Eve bonfire, I told him that since he and I loved the scenerio so much, that it would be the perfect place to propose. Since that night, we hadn't talked about it again. Well, we've been talking about getting married for a long time, but he gave me no hints as to when he planned to propose. It was always a pretty certain thing that this coming year we would get married, so by the Christmas weekend I assumed he wasn't going to do it on the holidays since I hadn't sensed anything different.

Christmas Eve came, and the rain poured like crazy. The family had all gotten together, but they were talking about not even lighting the fire due to sudden downpour. Well, my dad went to great extremes to try and get the thing lit. So, several gallons of gas and oil later, it caught fire! It was drizzling a little, and there was a breeze coming off the river. Rico and I were about 15 feet from the fire, and I was thinking about how much I loved the whole thing -that the drizzling effect left the scene artistically beautiful, when Rico moved closer to the fire. He called me over, and when I got there, he stared at me for a minute, and leaned in to kiss me. Now, my dad was a few feet away and so that freaked me out a little bit, and I glanced backward to see where he was looking. (In case you don't remember, my dad was totally against Rico and I being together at first, although he eventually became alright with it, but he's very strict.) Well, he had a video camera aimed at me! So I looked back at Rico, and Rico said, "Just kiss me!!" I did, and the ring was in his mouth.

After I pulled the ring out of my own mouth and my knees went weak in shock, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I freaked out. It was perfect.


We'll be getting married in mid-late May. I can't wait!

(Sorry if this post is kind of sloppy; I'll probably redo it later.)



Just taking a pause in all the Holiday madness to let y'all know that I have NOT dissapeared again! I'm still here. =) I have even been doing pretty well on my commenting (I think!)! Hopefully I'll continue to be dilligent in all of this. I miss this "world."

Found a good site, and a good blog. I haven't had a chance to read a whole lot, but I was very excited to read what I could. So far it's extremely close to what I believe and it's really spurred me to begin shifting this blog into a more focused direction.

Christian Domestic Discipline

Christian Domestic Discipline - Leah's Blog

I've had to come face to face with a whole lot of issues lately. It's been pretty rough... Instead of posting one giant post, I'll try to spread things out over a few though. For my whole theme here being a "journey," I've done a bad job of conveying that through my posts, but I'm going to try and get better.

First of all, part of this life Rico and I live was (involuntarily) revealed recently. It's a pretty long story, but, basically, two troublemakers found out that I like mild pain, ran to my dad with that information laced with exxagerations and lies, and he freaked out. I don't totally blame him; The Troublemakers used the term sadomasochistic. Have you looked up the definition for that word? Despite the fact that I like to be spanked, etc, and Rico likes to spank, etc, (and in essence those things can be labeled sadistic and masochistic) by the definitions I read, we are so far from sadomasochistic it's ridiculous to put that word on our preferences.

"sa·do·mas·o·chism [sey-doh-mas-uh-kiz-uhm, -maz-, sad-oh-] –noun

Interaction, esp. sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain."

I don't know about y'all, but when I'm being spanked (non-discipline of course), there isn't a single bit of "suffering" going on. Can you imagine reading that from a vanilla person's point of view? Of course they think I'm mentally unstable - to enjoy suffering.

Or how about this one:

"sa·do·mas·o·chism [sey-doh-mas-uh-kiz-uhm, -maz-, sad-oh-] –noun

The combination of sadism and masochism, in particular the deriving of pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting or submitting to physical or emotional abuse."

Once again, I most certainly do NOT feel abused!! I don't even feel abused when the spanking is disciplinary. On the contrary, I feel extremely loved. When you hear the words "abuse" and "suffering," what comes to your mind?

Said Troublemakers found out through one of them spotting a bruise (my fault). However, I was stuck with the individual most of the day and interrogated relentlessley. The whole reason I even said that I liked mild pain was because the questioning was going towards the direction of real abuse. In the past, Rico and I have had issues with ridiculous abuse acusations aimed at him, and I absolutely was not about to let things go there again. So I tried to turn things on myself by asking, "What if I like it?" Bad idea.

That ordeal was two-three months ago. I'd almost pushed it out of my head... but then last week it all blew up in my face.

Like I was saying, I'm sure to just a regular vanilla person it would be quite shocking to read that definition. Now, imagine being the pastor of a church and hearing from someone that your daughter and her (soon to be) fiance are "sadomasochistic," and are going around advocating such things.

Yeah. That went real well. Still, and probably will be for a while, recovering from that conversation. Needless to say, the Troublemakers are on my own personal ignore-forever-list. Am I bitter? No; but I'm not stupid. Those are two people I don't intend to ever reveal any personal information to ever again.

About me

  • Intro (with up-to-date edits)
  • In Dreams

    "And in dreams I am free
    falling into what is not;
    what will be what is.

    It's this intense hatred
    for reality twisted
    in an obsession of hope

    Defy the stagnant
    life that speaks only
    what can be but wills not.

    God's grace,
    not my self fear
    of what I think I cannot be."


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