The side of my life that grows and changes with my interests and discoveries pertaining to the D/d and D/s world, with respect to my spiritual convictions/sensibilites. (This page is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox)
Submission in its literal sense has always been a big part of my life. Like I mentioned before, I grew up in a very conservative environment and am still a very big part of that same place. Because of my very Biblical foundation, I was always taught the "roles" of the husband and the wife. The wife being the submissive one, the husband being the dominant head of the household. Those two images stuck with me and became what I envisioned in a relationship. Even through the two bad relationships I had, I tried to be submissive in a sense. After that, I rebelled against it all on the outside, but inside I still wanted the security, the peace, and the calm I felt in being able to release control to another; to live to please someone else. But actually becoming a submissive person was never a true reality to me. Mainly because I had so many hurts and insecurities that I couldn't even figure out HOW, but also because I was blinded by what this world portrays a woman to be.
For me, the basic foundation of submission is trust. Something I didn't have in my life until Rico. It took a really long time for me to get to the place where I even wanted to submit to him, much less actually be able to. I'm still learning. Submission isn't something that happens overnight. It's a learned quality you have to really strive for. Some people have submissive natures, but the total act of submission to another in everything is just unnatural, IMHO. Also, going against everything you're taught through every type of media isn't exactly an easy task either. But once you grasp the beauty of true submission, it doesn't matter what the rest of the universe may think.
The very first post I made was a poem that reveals my personal [ongoing] journey to submission. Before I even started, I thought I was all that and a bag of chips. But life began to happen, and soon I was brought down off my mountain top and made to look at myself. After I met Rico, I started working towards a new goal and again filled up with pride. I thought that because I was different from all the other girls and women in his life, I was, somehow, better; and, thought I was just the greatest because I was learning about "submission." Well, life happened again and I screwed up really bad. I almost messed up everything we worked towards in our relationship by breaking that foundational trust. Which, definitely, kicked me right off my mountaintop [again]. When I was finally able to look up from my wretched self pity, that is that point I consider my true first steps towards submission. I didn't count myself better than anyone else, including him, and that produced a huge case of humility in my life. That was also the point I shared my "deepest, darkest" secret. Maybe a desperate grasp at trust again? Sharing an intimate part of myself in exchange for breaking a promise? Or was it because I yearned for consequences for my actions? Either way, all of me was out in the open and he took it surprisingly well. So well, in fact, that he totally accepted it and acted on it.
Somehow, after all that, he continues to think me beautiful inside and out. Since my confession and his approval, we have become closer than ever. But I continue to try and keep an attitude of humility. At first, it was remorseful and apologetic. That only kept me in the bowels of self-pity, however. So now, I simply keep in mind that it only takes one slip of the tongue to fall right off any high status I may begin to think of myself.
My motives may be different than others, but it's what works for me. I will submit to him because it's what he deserves. I will submit to him out of respect for the position he has earned in my life. Even if he messes up, I will still submit because I know that I am no better. I will submit because I trust him.
Now, submission is my reality. I know full well I am nowhere near the place I want to be, but I am getting there. If I begin to slip and go backwards instead of forwards, I have Rico now to pull me back in line. But I also have him here to assure me that he is proud of me while I am doing good, and will always see me as beautiful.
Thus, I have titled my blog, and my life, [my] beautiful submission.
(lol, I hope all that makes sense...)
For me, the basic foundation of submission is trust. Something I didn't have in my life until Rico. It took a really long time for me to get to the place where I even wanted to submit to him, much less actually be able to. I'm still learning. Submission isn't something that happens overnight. It's a learned quality you have to really strive for. Some people have submissive natures, but the total act of submission to another in everything is just unnatural, IMHO. Also, going against everything you're taught through every type of media isn't exactly an easy task either. But once you grasp the beauty of true submission, it doesn't matter what the rest of the universe may think.
The very first post I made was a poem that reveals my personal [ongoing] journey to submission. Before I even started, I thought I was all that and a bag of chips. But life began to happen, and soon I was brought down off my mountain top and made to look at myself. After I met Rico, I started working towards a new goal and again filled up with pride. I thought that because I was different from all the other girls and women in his life, I was, somehow, better; and, thought I was just the greatest because I was learning about "submission." Well, life happened again and I screwed up really bad. I almost messed up everything we worked towards in our relationship by breaking that foundational trust. Which, definitely, kicked me right off my mountaintop [again]. When I was finally able to look up from my wretched self pity, that is that point I consider my true first steps towards submission. I didn't count myself better than anyone else, including him, and that produced a huge case of humility in my life. That was also the point I shared my "deepest, darkest" secret. Maybe a desperate grasp at trust again? Sharing an intimate part of myself in exchange for breaking a promise? Or was it because I yearned for consequences for my actions? Either way, all of me was out in the open and he took it surprisingly well. So well, in fact, that he totally accepted it and acted on it.
Somehow, after all that, he continues to think me beautiful inside and out. Since my confession and his approval, we have become closer than ever. But I continue to try and keep an attitude of humility. At first, it was remorseful and apologetic. That only kept me in the bowels of self-pity, however. So now, I simply keep in mind that it only takes one slip of the tongue to fall right off any high status I may begin to think of myself.
My motives may be different than others, but it's what works for me. I will submit to him because it's what he deserves. I will submit to him out of respect for the position he has earned in my life. Even if he messes up, I will still submit because I know that I am no better. I will submit because I trust him.
Now, submission is my reality. I know full well I am nowhere near the place I want to be, but I am getting there. If I begin to slip and go backwards instead of forwards, I have Rico now to pull me back in line. But I also have him here to assure me that he is proud of me while I am doing good, and will always see me as beautiful.
Thus, I have titled my blog, and my life, [my] beautiful submission.
(lol, I hope all that makes sense...)
About me
- rivka
- The South, United States
- My profile
In Dreams
"And in dreams I am free
falling into what is not;
what will be what is.
It's this intense hatred
for reality twisted
in an obsession of hope
Defy the stagnant
life that speaks only
what can be but wills not.
God's grace,
not my self fear
of what I think
I cannot be."
-rivka
Blogs I Like
- Loving DD
- Spanking Bethie
- Wheelsucker (Jo's Blog)
- Joannie Writes
- Sue's Place
- Bottom Smarts (Bonnie's Blog)
- Life In Motion
- Chris's Blog (Sparkle's husband)
- Caia's Journey
- RandC Personal Correction
- My Spanko Diary
- Pieces (SarAdora's Blog)
- Susie A's Journal
- Whisperings Of My Soul
- Leah's Blog
- Christian Domestic Discipline
- The Spanked Wife
- Head of House
- Spanking Good Time (Tiggr)
- Bliatz
- Dave and Am
- Domestic Discipline Diary
- Cease Resistance:Spanking Ree Again
- The Enchanted Palms Blog (Lenora's Blog)
- SarAdora's Spanking Erotica
- Fiction In Motion
D/d & Spanking
D/s - Submission
Other Stuff
Previous posts
Archives
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