The side of my life that grows and changes with my interests and discoveries pertaining to the D/d and D/s world, with respect to my spiritual convictions/sensibilites. (This page is best viewed in Mozilla Firefox)

My Dress


Some of you have seen it, but most of you haven't - so here it is!

I know I've posted a couple of the "tag" thingies, and answered a few questions within different posts, but there's a whole lot I have yet to tell. Visiting another woman's site, I saw that she wrote out, in tag form, a bunch of different, personal, facts about herself. Nothing really too "close to home", just stuff. It was fun for me to read, even though it's probably only the second time I'd ever been to her blog, so I figured some of you might really enjoy seeing that here - not to mention I love the idea of writing it in such a simple way.

Random Info

- I love Jesus Christ with all my heart and strive every day to become more like Him.
- I am the submissive in a D/d, somewhat D/s, relationship.
- I live in the southern U.S.
- I'm an artist and a photographer; aspiring to own my own business.
- I am under 25 years old.
- I have no kids, but plan to have plenty one day in the future.
- I'm a virgin (of any kind of sex) and will be until my wedding night.
- I'm going to marry my "highschool Sweetheart" in May, 2007.
- I'm a naturally light brunette.
- I LOVE animals; especially dogs.
- I'd really like to meet someone in real life, one day, who lives the same type of D/d lifestyle as Rico and I.
- Emails are like candy to me - I'm not the best at giving them away, but I love to get them!
- I have three brothers and one sister - one of which I know for sure has this spanko kink, but isn't old enough for me to openly talk about it with him, *g*.
- I have, what seems to be, the opposite of most people when it comes to certain insecurities about my weight; I want to gain like 15-20 pounds rather than lose it.
- I'm rehabilitating a squirrel.
- I actually love to hunt and fish - fishing moreso.
- "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew is a song I believe everyone should hear, and "The Passion" a movie that everyone should see at least once.
- Rico is my best friend.
- I'm a chocolate lover.
- The sexiest thing Rico could wear for me is a pair of jeans, a belt, some round-toe boots, and no shirt.
- Those lips on my banner are mine.
- I despise the morning and would rather stay up till the wee hours of the morning, then wake up at them; I truly am a hardcore nightowl (have you ever checked the times on these posts? LOL).

Want to know something else random? Just ask!!

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Oh my gosh... I have the largest monstrosity of a ZIT you have ever seen. It is absolutely shocking. My sister told me that it looks like my "evil twin" is trying to come out of my forehead... and the sad part is, that it really is that bad.

I cannot even believe that it’s real.

I have been wearing hats and covering it with my hands all night. You see, throughout the day it was bad, but it wasn’t totally disturbing... A lot of carefully and artistically applied makeup worked OK. But it was like when the sun went down, it decided, "Time to come out!" and just BULGED.

Nothing can cover this thing... I mean NOTHING. I just keep piling on the acne medication - praying it goes down by tomorrow before I leave for work.

I didn’t even mess with this one until way after it decided to Eiffel Tower out of my face. The only reason I even thought about touching it is because I sort of panicked. A temporary loss of sanity hit me, and all I could think was that it HAD TO GO! But did it pop? Of course not. So now it’s red AND bulging.


I don't know if any of you have read this book yet... but it is wonderful.

I, personally, have yet to read something quite like it on the internet. It's a $5.00 download, but probably some of the best dollars I've spent online concerning the D/d world. Usually I go into reading things (non-fiction) halfheartedly because there's no telling what it could say halfway through and there's almost always something very un-Biblical right in the midst of it. Well, I was able to wholeheartedly embrace everything the author had to say here because the book is loaded with scripture. Rico and I were thoroughly impressed.

It was really an answer to prayer because we both wanted more Biblical direction in D/d... that book gave it to us. After downloading it, I printed it out and have been making notes, studying it, and reading it outloud to Rico ever since.

So if you'd like to check out a good book on becoming a Godly submissive wife, coupled with D/d, that would be it.

I found it on that website I posted a little while back:

Christian Domestic Discipline

I talked about humility in my last post, and keeping a humble mindset. The last few days have done nothing more than put an exclamation mark on the end of those thoughts. I believe the problems come in when I start putting myself before Rico. I forget my place, I get a prideful heart, and I just see him on a much too equal level. I don't know if equal is the right word there, but it's close. What I mean is that I start basing the extent of my submission on what he's saying, how he's acting, or what's going on in our life. Which, of course, is wrong. My submission should be absolute - no matter what's happening.

Most of the time, to get my head back where it should be, it takes some action on his part. I think that he's starting to see that more lately, and that has taken a lot of the struggle away. It generally doesn't take a whole lot (just a few words, maybe a threat), but sometimes it does. I've come to the conclusion that the most effective way of getting ME back into a humble mindset is some form of private humiliation. I'll go into detail later, because that word can be taken way out of the context I want it in, but right now we're keeping things simple anyway - a spanking all by itself can be humiliating. It doesn't take much to give me a sense of humiliation, and all it does is make me realize exactly what I'm supposed to be feeling and how I'm supposed to be acting. I suppose it gives me a feeling of being smaller than him, and enforces his authority and power. While it's hard while it's happening, afterwards I'm so thankful and happy with the way I feel.

OK I have to go, but those are my thoughts at the moment and I'll post more later.

Well, I never re-wrote that post... but I have a good excuse!! LOL. We wanted to have the wedding in spring.., and that means SOON! So, I've been planning my heart away trying to make the next four months go by as stress-free as possible. It's filled up all my spare time, but things have really gone well. I've booked a photographer, a caterer, the location (not finalized, however), our honeymoon, chose the wedding party, and ordered my gown... yay!! 129 more days till we say "I do!"

And despite all that, D/s has not taken a seat on the back burner. As a matter of fact, we've actually been doing very well lately. I'm so proud of Rico... he's doing so well. Better than I can ever remember. This is usually the point where I start getting scared that things will go downhill... but I believe things are going to be alright this time.

We've been working on protecting each other. By that, I mean we've been guarding each others' hearts, taking up for each other in public, and speaking nothing but good things to other people about each other. You may think, "Well duh!" ... but it's truly been a struggle for us. When something doesn't go quite right, it's so easy to say something completely sarcastic, smart alec, and/or hurtful as an automatic response in front of others. It's so wrong... but most definitely something both of us have done repeatedly. And that has caused a lot of hurt on both our parts. The effect that can have on D/s is critical. Rico would try to publically correct me, but it would seem completely belittling and chavenistic rather than loving and right. Especially if he didn't think about the words he chose to say immediately. [insert major fight] OR, things could go the other way. I'd try to publically correct HIM... and of course, that would come off very disrespectful and totally unsubmissive. [insert major fight]

I've also been concentrating on being humble. When I can just keep a mindset of humility, it's amazing how different situations become, and how contrasting my reactions to things can be. Since being able to see this in myself, I've asked Rico to help me. After he's got my head where it should me, in a thought pattern of humility, all I want to do is sit at his feet. It's my utmost desire to please him. I'll talk more about this in my next post...

Love y'all, and I hope things have been going OK for everyone!

About me

  • Intro (with up-to-date edits)
  • In Dreams

    "And in dreams I am free
    falling into what is not;
    what will be what is.

    It's this intense hatred
    for reality twisted
    in an obsession of hope

    Defy the stagnant
    life that speaks only
    what can be but wills not.

    God's grace,
    not my self fear
    of what I think I cannot be."


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